Hijikata han
by Nesi-chan
Summary: A story designed just for you Hijikata lovers
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own Gintama, nor Hijikata.._

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**_HIJIKATA-HAN_**

Hijikata-han.. Hijikata-han..

He is such a hottie, yet single.

Hijikata-han, the mayonnaise monster.

Hijikata-han is love -

If you think you should be his woman, this story is designed just for you.

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It was morning again. Hijikata was trying to wake up, or rather he was already awake, or rather he never slept, or maybe he was dead:

"Aghh, I hate myself. Why, why do I have to wake up to another morning?"

"My life is so boring, I am almost 30 and I still got no one"

"Why live when no one really cares, why live when love is just an illusion?"

"Why is there life? Life sucks; it is just an illusion.."

Hijikata was sitting on his bed; his head wrapped in his hands; shouting.

Okita came in immediately kicking Hijikata's head:

"Oi, Hijikata-kun, be silent."

And he left.

"And I need to live with these crazy people; I have no luck in this life" Hijikata let his tears fall down ;.;

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Alright girlies, do you think you can light up this man's life? Then review and I will add you up to the story and we will see who Hijikata-han chooses -o-


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2: Girls love you, boy.**_

Hijikata was smoking a cigarette, sitting by the beach. His eyes looked so deep, there was no chance to read his thoughts.

A girl who just got a new job at the ice-creamer's shop arriving late for work angered the employer and he started fighting with the girl.

Hijikata didn't like the kind of argument so he snuffed out his cigarette and stood up:

"Oi, employer-san should you really treat girls this way?"

While Hijikata was talking, he looked his usual way; his gaze directed on the ground.

Employer-san noticed that he was from the Shinsengumi and apologized, bowing:

"Dear Shinsengumi-kun I am deeply sorry, please forgive me. I will treat the girl an ice-cream, and to you as well."

As he finished his sentence, Hijikata already walked away but the girl whose name is Kimiko speaks:

"Ano.. Shinsengumi-kun wait for your ice-cream"

Hijikata turns around and Kimiko appears next to him with two ice-cream cones:

"Let's eat our ice-creams while walking beside the beach, shall we?"

Hijikata freaks out:

"You crazy girl, I just saved you from being spanked and you are being so ungrateful taking advantage of me"

Kimiko:

"Advantage? Uh, what do you mean? Like old men take advantage of little girls? But that means you are kind of girlish? Or am I guyish? Or.. errr"

Hijikata:

"I AM NO GIRL. You are just one spoiled teenager. You youths don't have an idea about what love means. You DRIVE ME CRAZY. LEAVE NOW OR I SHALL TAKE YOU TO OUR HEADQUARTERS."

Kimiko:

"Ugh sorry to get you angered Shinsengumi-kun but I think you are cute and I was thinking if we could go on a date if you are not taken?"

Hijikata:

"GIRL. DO YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU UNDERSTAND A WORD I SAY? AM I LIKE AN ALIEN OR WHAT?"

Kimiko blushes:

"Ugh well I think you're a bit kind of alien that is why I find you so cute, you are different from all other foolish guys.."

Hijikata:

"Let me tell you this girl. You have no right to call them 'foolish guys' as you are doing the same mistake as them. You are the foolish one here. I am sure even some guys are better than you."

Kimiko:

"You mean.. You prefer.. guys..?"

Hijikata:

"WHAT THE HELL! GETTING IT ALL WRONG!! WHAT I MEAN IS EVEN MEN ARE MORE VIRTOUS THAN YOU CRAZY GIRL"

After saying his sentence he just left in anger and Kimiko decided not to follow him anymore, disappointed.

But today's Hijikata's lucky day or shall we call it the unluckiest day? Well, you decide.

Hijikata just goes into a shop to buy books and there he accidentally bumps into a girl:

"Uh, sorry.."

But the girl isn't happy with a sorry:

"Sorry!!?? Look at what you did! The eggs I bought they are on the ground all broken! You got to return me a favour now!"

Hijikata:

"Oh, sorry. Alright what shall I do?"

The girls thinks for a while:

"Hmm.. Maybe treat me my dinner tonight.. since I have no money left on me and I cannot make ommlette for myself since all my eggs are broken"

Even before finishing her sentence Hijikata already takes out money:

"Here is the money."

Girl:

"I said take me to dinner I don't want money."

Hijikata:

"What the hell! I am paying you what you lost."

Girl:

"Not really. You also wasted my time and all eggs in the shop are already sold so there is nothing left for me now."

Hijikata:

"Ahhhh. What is this, a joke? It makes no sense to me why I should take you out for dinner"

Girl:

"BE A GENTLEMAN. WHAT KIND OF GUY ARE YOU. YOU GOTTO TAKE ME TO DINNER OR ELSE YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS."

The girl suddenly took out a gun:

With a grin on her face: "Do you know who I am? You shinsengumi.. I am the assassin you guys could never ever catch. I kill and I kill and I never get arrested.. Because I am the girl who is the Power. TAKE ME TO DINNER NOW. OR I WILL WANT EVEN WORSE THINGS FROM YOU."

Hijikata:

"What the hell? Who do you think you are to threaten me like that?"

Hijikata took out his katana, ready to battle.

But the girl was really powerful and she did not resist shooting him in the stomach:

"Ahh.."

Hijikata was in pain and he collapsed on the ground.

The girl took him with her and took him to her house.

She was an expert at healing as well so she treated him with care. Hijikata slept for about 5 hours and later when he opened his eyes he saw the girl looking at him:

"Where am I?.."

"You are in your house, love."

Hijikata jumped in fear:

"What the hell!!! Love?"

"Oh my god.. Don't you remember you first love. It's me Suzu. Your first and last love."

Saying that she grabbed him and kissed his lips.

Hijikata tried to resist but he was injured.

Suzu: "When you get better my love, you have to treat me better in bed"

Hijikata could not bear hearing something like this so he really got shocked and all of a sudden he stood up:

"WHAT THE HELL I AM JUST LEAVING THIS PLACE"

And he succeeded in running away from the house. Suzu was disappointed but she was tired so she did not really try to get him.

While Hijikata was running in the streets injured he suddenly fell on the ground. Or maybe he almost fell because before he could embrace the ground he embraced a girl.

Girl: "Oh dear, you are injured. I shall take care of you immediately."

Hijikata was now unconscious and he could not resist. He did not even know he was in hands of A GIRL.

To be continued..


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3: Will I ever find love?**_

Naoto took Hijikata in her arms and jumped from roof to roof ninja style.

"Oh, what a handsome guy! I am such a lucky girl to hold him in my arms"

Naoto was so entranced that she accidentally dropped Hijikata when she was in the middle of her jumping process.

Hijikata fell on the ground.

NOT.

He was yet to be saved by Gintoki.

"Oi, what the hell is this? Hijikata, huh? Are, talk to me Hijikata? What are you doing at this time, at this place with these wounds?"

Naoto soon realised he had dropped Hijikata and she started looking for him but he was no where to be found.

Gintoki, as a gentleman, took Hijikata to his Yorozuya and threw him on the sofa.

Shinpachi appeared as usual to poke his nose into the situation

"Gin-san, what is Hijikata-kun doing here?"

"Who knows? Ah, anyway I am tired. Oi, Kagura bring me some strawberry milk"

"But, Gin-san" Shinpachi talked on.

"Gin-san, please explain it to me. Can't you see he is bleeding?!! Don't tell me.. You.."

"What the hell Shinpachi. Just shut up and treat him if you think something is wrong with him. AAAhh what is this? Where is this Kagura, where is my strawberry milk. What is this.. I am going to sleep"

"Gin-san!"

And soon Hijikata was left bleeding on a lonely sofa in a lonely room. Shinpachi went back to his house and Gin-san to his room and Kagura was already asleep inside the cupboard.

Hijikata just lied there, alone.

Luckily, Naoto, with her instinctive smelling ability, found Hijikata.

"Ah, dear handsome guy. I smelled you all the way here to find you in a sofa all alone, bleeding"

Naoto looked into the fridge to find some ice to treat his wounds but she encountered with a pair of eyes looking at her madly. It was Kagura.

"Ooooi, woman. Who are you, what are you doing here? Are you Gin's new lover or what?"

"Oh, what are you saying child. Who is Gin? My heart only belongs to that guy over there."

"What guy over there you bitch."

Kagura looked at the sofa to see Hijikata.

"Ah, what is that man doing here, that Shinsengumi guy."

"Oh, is he from the Shinsengumi? What a pity.. I want my guy to be free, not bound by any organisation."

"Oi, woman. Take your man and get outta my house."

"Oh, alright. I will but.."

"No buts, or I will call the police! Get going-_-"

With that Naoto had to forsake the treatment of poor Hijikata-kun and she took him and left the Yorozuya.

Naoto, this time, acknowledged that she was not to carry Hijikata or a worse outcome was to happen, so she took him to the hospital with a taxi.

Naoto stayed with Hijikata while he was being treated and she remained with him until he opened his eyes

"Oh, my handsome. You finally opened yours eyes^^"

"Huuuuuh? Am I doomed or what? Another day, another girl? For damn's sake, I don't want love. I gave up!"

Naoto got pissed off.

"What are you saying? I am the girl who saved you all along. I found you in wounds in a random street and saved your life and is this how you thank me?"

"I just want to die! Leave me alone."

"You.."

Naoto tried to calm down but she was so broken that with tears in her eyes she left the room running and crying loudly.

"Aaah" took Hijikata a deep breathe..

"An understanding girl..for me.. does not exist. They keep picking on my looks but they do not try to understand me. Will I ever find real love?"

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_Will he ever find love?;_; Girls are you willing to understand this miserable man?_


End file.
